ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize