And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
