Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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