you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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