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Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
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