if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.