We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.