just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed