508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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