brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
