am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
