Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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