But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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