I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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