the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
