I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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