pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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