you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize