do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize