I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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