dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
where are my eyebrows?
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