the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
