she was so not down for the gang bang
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Text me some of your sweat
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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