I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
