My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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