Screwed.edu
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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