i think my tv is drunk
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
