it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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