What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
