Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
