so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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