O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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