tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
