and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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