Already got asked if we're dating
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
