My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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