I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
