If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize