love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
