If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
