What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
