i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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