It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
