Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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