THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
