dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
