I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
