Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
