Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
