I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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