i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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