and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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