He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
