BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
