do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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