discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
