is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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