honey bunches of taint.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
