The maid of honor just puked.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
