Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
