thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
