I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
