Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
