i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
